I took a few psychology courses back in college because I was, am, interested in how the human mind works. What makes us tick? Why do we do the things we do? How much does our subconscious effect our choices and decisions? Does any of this influence why we dream what we dream? Truth be told, I don't have the answers to any of those questions. This, in turn, leaves me highly frustrated with human behavior. Sometimes, I can barely rationalize why I do what I do, why I think the way I think, let alone try to define why others do or say what they do or say.
Back to dreams. I know I dream of certain things and people because I have conflicting or unresolved issues with these things and people and I don't know if it's my inner self trying to console me or what, but sometimes it just freaks me out. I think it's these dreams that block my muse, prohibit me from writing sometimes.
For example, when I dream about my mother, she is alive. Granted, she passed away quite some time ago, but in my dreams, she'll suddenly reappear, pretending she was just gone for a while, and she's like, "Hi! I'm back!" In other dreams I have about her, I'm always searching for her, looking for her. It's as though I know she's still alive, and I'm looking behind trees and under rocks for her. When I have such dreams, I wake feeling unsettled.
I'm not sure I'll ever come to terms with my mother's death, and the dreams don't always help. Just when I think I've finally found peace with it, I'll have one of these dreams and I will think I've made no progress at all!
Do you have experiences like this with your dreams?